Dating. Fell in love. Got married. Had a baby. Living together. Got divorced.
Such a simple story happened to me many years ago. But I think there are readers who know from their personal experience how much emotions, pain and hatred can be hidden in living together and divorce.
In my case my husband didn’t like my job and business trips.
But at that time he wasn’t able to earn enough money and provide for his family. I didn’t consider giving up my job for the sake of a peace in our relationships. My husband was sure that I was untrue to him. He had another woman and…. I left entirely and permanently.
But if only it was the end of the story! Without going into details I can say that it was impossible to come to terms of anything with my ex but it was necessary. We shared a son. Any of our conversation ended with an emotional punch. My ex reproached me of infidelity. I started to excuse myself remembering his sins. Later I just hung up on him in response. Each of us was assured in his own righteousness.
Several years ago, I started practicing Ho’oponopono as I hadn’t been to an IZI LLC Class yet. The only thing I did I said mentally the four tools: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you”. At that time I and and my son’s father began to understand each other. But he still did the emphasis that I broke his fine perception and confidence to all women in the world!
When my ex reproached me another time all of a sudden I said: “Please forgive me”. There was a long pause. I continued: “Forgive me for whatever I caused to you willingly or not. Forgive me for making you experience negative emotions. Forgive me that I did wrong but much time passed. You have another close family. I have my own family… Forgive me if you can. I am sorry…”
I do not know what happened then, but I dare to guess that the Creator erased some memory that caused our negative emotions towards each other, claims and frustration. From that very moment there is only peace and respect to each other in our conversations. Our son is very happy now. He also worried and felt tension from constant conflicts between his dearly beloved though very different parents for a long time!
Ho’oponopono tool “Please forgive me” is one of my favorite tools. I steel enjoy saying it aloud or mentally.
Peace begins with me!