Category: LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Clean Communication

People love to complain. They love to share the problems and obsess with them. They look for those who will listen and will empathize with them. As soon as humans share he/she is getting better for at least some time. Yes, their friend listened and empathized to them. But the problem unfortunately has not been solved. What to do?

If you want to speak about the problem, tell it to the one who cleans.

The one who cleans is always 100% responsible for all that is going on in him/her. If you tell him/her something then that is not in vain then you didn’t spend time for nothing. So there is a program in you that replays the situation. So the person you dying to share with is somehow a part of the problem.

Yes, we are all better to keep our mouths shut and clean, but we are people and we have this urge to talk, to communicate to others, so why not to do it with the person who cleans while you talk?

The one who talks about the problem is simply a treasure for the one who cleans! He/she gives a unique opportunity to clean and let go all what is related with that problem in you!

Who knows but maybe in the second or so both will get an Inspiration from Divinity. You get something that is perfect and right for you and your friend. It becomes a clean communication.

Thanks problems! I love you, problems! You are my blessings!

I love you!

Offence

“What happens around happens in you” – repeats Doctor Hew Len. –  “There is nothing outside of yourself. Our reactions are the scariest enemies of us.”

At the very beginning of my Ho’oponopono path I did not suspect that it might work so quick and effectively.

One of my husband’s friends, who strongly offended me once, visited one night at our place. I didn’t want to be in the presence of that person. I wasn’t comfortable. I found an excuse to go for the groceries and rushed out of the house as fast as possible. I was afraid that my offence would speak out and would painfully hit my offender. I did not want to let this happen and did what I thought would be best – leave.

I spend nearly an hour at the store. Within an hour I was constantly repeating “I love you. Please forgive me”. The story of how he offended me was playing in my head over and over again. “I love you my offence”. In my mind I wanted to yell at my offender and just put him down. How bad I wanted to make him feel bad but kept yelling instead “I love you” with anger. If I would follow the old way of doing things I am sure I would get into a similar situation when someone would be offending me again. At the end those are only memories and how hard it is to remind myself in the midst of anger.

I was done with shopping and had to get home. I couldn’t avoid that person my whole life. I love you, I love you, I love you I repeated with each of my steps.

I came home. I saw the person. I didn’t believe myself. I didn’t feel a thing! Offence vanished. Offender didn’t look like offender to me. Pleasant person and nothing more! My mood got better and I invited everyone to drink tea with apple pie.

Divine creator not only prevented me from creating an uncomfortable situation but erased it from me. What a gift!

It was strange to feel that the emotion I hung onto for some time wasn’t even there. I remembered the situation but didn’t remember the anger about it.

We react to the memories of offence in us. The human who has offended you is perfect and ideal. He has nothing to do with the situation.

Stay cool. I love you!

Edible cleaning tool: Eat Yourself

edible cleaning tool

Story from Incha.

It has been a month since I have returned from the Moscow seminar dedicated to Self I-Dentity Through Ho’oponopono. What did I learn this time? The main message for me was the 100% responsibility idea for all the events in my life.

During the class, participants often raised the question: “Can I teach my patients, children and other family members to the process?”  I thought how we by habit want to throw off the responsibility from our shoulder and pass it on to others.

I did exactly the same. I used one edible cleaning tool that worked on relationships. After I finished, I caught myself dreaming that it would be great if this tool would be eaten by my son and his girlfriend. Once in a while, I had a cold misunderstanding between me and them. Ah, if only my dream came true..

I even started to think over how to present to them this edible cleaning tool, so that they would not just try it once but would be eating it as needed.

Then suddenly something pushed me! If I heard about the problems of children – this was only my memory projected to me! This was my memory! So why did I want to throw a solution of this situation on the children? Maybe in their world it is not a problem at all! “Eat yourself” – I said to myself and finished up eating my cleaning tool.

Everything begins with me. Peace begins with me. I am like the first bone in the dominoes chain. If I fall down, the rest will fall down. If I clean up, it will clear up from all others.

Here is the story that Ihaleakala Hew Len told in the audio book “Zero Limits” that inspires me and that puts things right.

“There was a young man in Hawaii who had a very difficult time. His mother said that people didn’t like him, he was not doing well at school… The mother asked how to help him. I had to remind her: You’ll not help him. It’s only about you. What’s going on in you that you are experiencing that way?”

or

«You prayed for the wrong person, I replied. Better to pray for yourself and ask forgiveness for whatever is going on in you and shows up as illness in your grandchild».

People do not think that they are the source of their life experience.

The resume: everything should start with you. Cleaning yourself – changing our inner world. When it changes, step by step the change occurs in outer world. This changes expand just like the rings in the water bigger and bigger.

Peace begins with me! Thank you!

 

Loving Relationship

w1Once, a man asked Morrnah, a person who created Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono: “Can I marry this girl?” Morrnah said that he could.

A few years later, he had been already divorced and came again to  Morrnah: “You have said that I can get married. See how it turned out!” And she said: “Have you been cleaning?”

All the people that we consider our second halves are the most necessary and important people! We share a lot of memories with them!

In my opinion, this is a great idea. You live with someone,  look at him like in the mirror and work on yourself. Did you ever feel irritation or resentment in family life? A person you love just pushes the buttons to show what you need to let go.

So I have a thought, did God create us so that we were not pleased with each other? No. There is one answer –  something happened once that we have implemented a memory of pain and resentment in a relationship with a loved one.

Long ago, I heard one phrase  “If you love a person – let him go, if he is yours, then he’ll be back.” It is real  Ho’oponopono words!

It is happen that in the troubled relationship, one or both are trying to save, to keep the relationship. It is a good thing, if both partners have a desire to do so. What happen when one tries and another doesn’t? Hmm… The situation is complicated.

According to Hooponopono it is a memory of attachment. We all know that it is very painful when one does not care for relationships.

In the situations like ” love or hate» it is very hard to keep one’s mouth shut and not to provoke conflict. It would be certainly better to keep it shut. And the best of all would be to talk to a person when he’s sleeping. Yes, it is better to tell a person everything when his conscious mind is sleeping. We know that  consciousness will start to argue or fight. The subconscious mind  is our Inner Child. We will talk to the Inner Child of the person we love.

I would say to the Inner Child, of my husband, for example, that I  love him,that I’m glad he’s in my life.  I thank him for all that he does for me and just grateful for  he is . The main thing is  to do it regularly.

From my experience, the relationship becomes much better and are full of love and understanding. I think this is the wonderful way to resolve conflicts and complex relationship.

And in the circumstances “to be or not to be together,” it would be better to do Hooponopono cleaning and do not expect anything. Everything will be fine for you and your partner.

I love you.

Thank you.

Forgive Me

Forgive MeFrom Kate.

Dating. Fell in love. Got married. Had a baby. Living  together. Got divorced.

Such a simple story happened to me many years ago. But I think there are readers who know from their personal experience how much emotions, pain and hatred can be hidden in living together and divorce.

In my case my husband didn’t like my job and business trips.

But at that time he wasn’t able to earn enough money and provide for his family. I didn’t consider giving up my job for the sake of a peace in our relationships. My husband was sure that I was untrue to him. He had another woman and…. I left entirely and permanently.

But if only it was the end of the story! Without going into details I can say that it was impossible to come to terms of anything with my ex but it was necessary. We shared a son. Any of our conversation ended with an emotional punch.  My ex reproached me of infidelity. I started to excuse myself remembering his sins. Later I just hung up on him in response. Each of us was assured in his own righteousness.

Several years ago, I started practicing Ho’oponopono as I hadn’t been to an IZI LLC Class yet. The only thing I did I said mentally the four tools: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you”. At that time I and and my son’s father began to understand each other. But he still did the emphasis that I broke his fine perception and confidence to all women in the world!

When my ex reproached me another time all of a sudden I said: “Please forgive me”. There was a long pause. I continued: “Forgive me for whatever I caused to you willingly or not. Forgive me for making you experience negative emotions. Forgive me that I did wrong but much time passed. You have another close family. I have my own family… Forgive me if you can. I am sorry…”

I do not know what happened then, but I dare to guess that the Creator erased some memory that caused our negative emotions towards each other,  claims and frustration. From that very moment there is only peace and respect to each other in our conversations. Our son is very happy now. He also worried and felt tension from constant conflicts between his dearly beloved though very different parents for a long time!

Ho’oponopono tool “Please forgive me” is one of my favorite tools. I steel enjoy saying it aloud or mentally.

Peace begins with me!

 

Give Up Control and You Will Find Gold

Give Up Control and You Will Find GoldFinally, I have approached the topic which I’m sure each family has experienced.

Who prepares dinner and breakfast? – The wife! Who cleans the house? – The wife! Who washes dishes? – You can easily guess the answer. And husband goes to work only? – Hahaha!

In my family, I was the only one who did all this. I didn’t trust these tasks at home to anyone. I like to control things at home. All should be done in accordance with my desire and standards. Have you heard about those who immediately tide up the folds on their sofa after guests go? So that is also about me, hehe.

Ho’oponopono helped “unnoticeably for me!” to let go of that control. Why do I mention unnoticeable is because that miracle happened by itself, not in one day. But anyway I am happy that it happened!

My husband started to help me, partly, with cooking. He cooks…..mmmm…wonderful! Here is where the gold has been hidden!

He also took care of vacuuming the house. It turns out that I spent so much time to do this work. Wow!!! In general cleaning of the house sped up. And a lot of free time revealed!

My miracle loving husband has been living in my house and I didn’t know that since the memory of control was strong. How could I see? I saw through the eyes of the memory. The most important and precious for me is that I am 100% satisfied with how my husband cleans!

I love you!

The Best Medicine

The Best MedicineStory from my friend.

After my  first Self I-dentity Through Ho’oponopono Class, I kept practicing Ho’oponopono: forgive, love, and say thank you day by day. I experienced depression for a long time. Moving forward with Ho’oponopono, I get the signs again and again: “Do not miss your problem! Do what you need to do!”

But the most important support I got on my way is the one that was said by one healer: “The best medicine is love and care”. Somebody asked him: “What if it can’t help?” The healer said: “Increase dosage!”

I took it into consideration and increased dosage of love to people irritating me. I increased dosage of gratitude for all the situations bothering me at work. I tried to forgive everybody and everything.

All of a sudden I began to see changes. When unpleasant situations concerning relationships happened, I asked myself: “What can I say thank you for to this person?” I really understood that there was nobody but me. Any person was the reflection of my features that I couldn’t accept in me. It was time to ask forgiveness for whatever is in me and fall in love with those memories. As a result I improved relationships with people!

My realization that it was ME who attack and behave aggressively but not the people around me.

You can congratulate me! Now I go to work without feeling any tension inside of me! On the top of that I started to get nice feedback – words of gratitude for the work and proposal to keep in touch in my correspondence with co-workers and head office.

Such result gives confidence and powers and encourages me to feel more gratitude. Big changes are coming at my work but they do not scare or disturb me. I know that everything will be in the best way for me. I became calmer and more confident.

Now looking back I realize that my depression and loss of powers was a result of my resistant and non acceptance of the memories that showed me what features of mine I should work on. I only needed to fall in love and accept all my features as the situation changes in a miraculous way. Well, I was assured that if it looks like that nothing happens while cleaning you should keep cleaning anyway – increasing dosage of love, gratitude and forgiveness!

Perhaps someday a difficult situation with people at my work will surface. I have a tool – Ho’oponopono – to fix it.

 

I Do Not Let You Go

I Do Not Let You GoThe relationship is the most difficult part. No wonder. People are different. Each of us has their own personality. If there is no good relationship – there is no mutual understanding and peace. 

There are ups and downs in any relationship. Hot passion sometimes goes into indifference, and then re-gaining momentum. What to do if you really want to be with someone and her/his behavior is unclear to you. It doesn’t seem that person holds you but at the same time doesn’t let you go? You can’t keep yourself stuck. We must let go although sometimes it is a painful process. Otherwise there is no order in your life. Just to hang there is not fun at all.

Furthermore, you have an increasing desire to be with this “uncertain” significant one and your heart is still can’t find peace and tranquility.

It’s easy to see the situation outside yourself. You want to say, “This is he (she) behaves this way, it is he (she) hurts me. BUT! BUT! BUT! Big BUT! There is nothing outside of you. Your relationships exist only in your mind. This is your memory determines the development of relations.

Why go to the object of love with a white flag in your hands to negotiate terms and conditions on the further development of your relationship? It makes no sense. The offer “Let’s talk” – it’s a waste of time and energy, throwing words to the wind. Why do you need to find out where our relationship and what to do next? Usually this does not lead to the final solution among two people.

Let’s look at the situation through the Ho’oponopono. This is not a partner indefinite – it is you. * This is not a partner who is not holding and at the same time do not let you go – it is you. 

Memory within us plays this unpleasant situation, and we are offended on ourselves for such behavior. Your partner is a mirror image of you. It is so common to hear “It is him/her. It is not my fault!”

Yes, I get it. That is a hard concept to understand. We often want to stand back and throw all the blame on the other person. In such situations in ho’oponopono, a banal answer can be heard – cleansing, cleansing, cleansing.

We do not know who is the right and perfect partner for you. Only The Creator knows. Then why hold the person and tie his/her arms and legs with a big bow? As brutal as it may sound, we often stand in His way and do not let ourselves to stop the suffering from the unhappy relationship.

When everything is perfect and right according to the Divine plan you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to fight for the mate. You don’t have to kill. You don’t have to suffer. Everything comes with ease and you walk on a finished beautiful road that is designed only for you! It all shines with the light. You don’t have to figure out anything. You will love what God has in store for you. Just clean and see it happening.

The Signal Was Missed

the signal was missedThis story is from my friend Incha.

Before leaving for vacation, I read the horoscope. It warned about harmed relationships in family. For me, as for the Ho’oponopono practitioner, the main thing was not to miss the signal and start cleaning before I involved into situation. Unfortunately, the signal was missed.

Everything we do or not do has its own result. In the middle of my vacation, my husband hurt me. Although he didn’t think so. I was offended so much that I couldn’t stop my tears for several hours. As usual, my offense turned into mental dialogue with blaming, claims, and crying for justice …

It  was afternoon and my husband fell asleep. I couldn’t find the place better than a bathroom for inner dialogue with my husband. However, I understood that it would bring me no relief. The fact that my husband was still sleeping meant that I was not ready to see him right now and I had time to clean.

I remembered Ihaleakala Hew Len said that the best time to talk to Unihipily when the person was sleeping.  So I started to ask forgiveness from my husband’s Unihipily for whatever caused him to offend me. I thanked him for the chance to clean. I poured myself with Blue Solar Water.

Little by little my Unihipili calmed down and resentment began to fade. Taking 100% responsibility for the situation with my husband, I allowed a stream of light that I could not see because of my offenses to men revealed to me. There was nothing to do with my husband. He had to attract my attention on himself in order to give me chance to clean. He acted on behalf of all the men I met in this or past lives.

I realized for how long I did not give my offense release from prison and hold it as a hostage. I felt that my anger, offense and irritation went away so I was ready to get out of the bathroom.

Gradually, peace came into  my heart. I was proud of myself I could remember the cleaning and could now find the right words for my Unihipily. I was grateful to Divinity for a chance to clean and for the ability not to miss it but to give thanks.

The result of my cleaning was almost immediate. Coming out of the bathroom, I saw my husband was awake. We talked and the conflict was over. A few days later, I felt a nice caring attention to me not only from my husband but also from other men! They expressed interest and care.

Perhaps it was only the top of an enormous iceberg. Perhaps I will happen to find myself in such situations again and again. I ask Divinity only one thing, please remind me to clean and let go.

Thank you!

 

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